Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Review - Destroy The Porn (PC)


A Sticky Situation


What could be worse than dying and being sent to the bowels of Hades? Why, leaving behind a filthy stash of porn in your wake, just waiting to be discovered by your grieving family. This is the exact predicament our hero Joe finds himself in. Upon meeting the Dark Lord, he realises the gravity of his situation and asks to be sent back to Earth one last time, in order to rid the house of his epic assortment of spooge materials. Being the fair sort, Satan allows this, and sends Joe off on a short mission to defeat a boss monster and tidy up his home.



Destroy The Porn is an incredibly short platform game, that can easily be beaten in 15 minutes or so, less time than it probably takes Joe to pleasure himself to his sordid materials. It has rudimentary, though charming in their own pixelated kind of way, visuals, a chiptune soundtrack, and the usual assortment of bleeps and bloops for sound effects. Gameplay consists of jumping over spike pits and avoiding bats and spiky critters. Joe starts with no abilities whatsoever, but soon locates the jump ability (I should think so too), followed by the shotgun. There are several more obtained along the way, such as the obligatory double-jump, and even the means to travel through hot lava. At the end of a short stage, the Boss With Nothing Better To Do (yes, really) must be defeated and then the titular muck stash must be obliterated in a short time limit.


Destroy The Porn is very straight-forward, and offers only minimal entertainment, though it does raise a smile from the (rather crude) dialogue, and the final boss battle shows some signs of creativity. It takes only a short amount of time to finish, so it's worth a quick play-through in your lunch break or whatever. This game has put the developer on my radar, so I look forward to his next titles. Let's just hope he creates far larger worlds with a bit more to sink your teeth into.



The game can be downloaded for free from Game Jolt, here.









Title : Destroy The Porn
Developer : DrunkDevs
Year : 2013
System : PC
Price : Free